A Decision

To Whom it may concern:

Deciding what college to attend has not been as simple as I originally thought it would be.  My heart has been torn between two colleges of high standards and quality for sometime.  As a teenager, I didn't want to completely disregard my parents advise as an act of rebellion; nor did I want to blindly follow them, as it is not their life.

I have talked to many people who are older and wiser than me.  I have talked to people my age.  I've asked almost anyone who would listen and offer advice.  I've received advice from people I didn't want advice from (Sorry, sometimes I just have to end a sentence in a preposition).  Through the many conversations I've had regarding this decision I've learned a few things:

1.  Everyone has their own biases.
 This statement might seem rather arbitrary and biased in itself, but as I continued to try to find a source that would only tell me the facts about which college was better, I discovered that every source and every person is biased.  Everyone perceives things differently, and when asked about that particular subject they will share with you their perception, which isn't necessarily the true reality of the matter.

 2.  This choice really is a matter of opinion, and you should make it based on your own, educated opinion.
This statement may seem very obvious, but it took me a long time to come to this conclusion in my head, even though people and articles told me that statement many times.

Upon realizing this second point and due to recent events, I have chosen where I will attend college.  Through God prodding at my heart and reassuring me through the scripture (Jeremiah 1:5; Deuteronomy 31:6), and through prayerful consideration (I Thessalonians 5:17; Psalm 145:18) I have concluded that this coming fall I will attend Purdue University as a Biology major.  Hopefully (and with a lot of hard work), in four years I will know where I will attend medical school.

Between now and then I pray that I may be a light before men, that they may see how I act and praise my heavenly Father (Matthew 5:16)

Living in Reckless abandon for Jesucristo,
Jo

P.S. "Real gold fears no fire." -Randy Alcorn

Near Sighted

I was recently having a conversation with a friends mom about how the game "Peek-a-Boo" works.  To adults, who have more developed brains, they know that the person is simply behind the hands.  However, when a baby sees someone's face disappear behind their hands, the baby sees the person as gone.  What is interesting about this topic is that it takes awhile before the baby learns that the adult playing Peek-a-Boo with them isn't gone, they're just hiding behind their hands.  As I had this conversation I was thinking about the parallels that a baby's behavior and an adult's behavior have.

Quite simply, there are a lot of distractions in this world.  Every where we go, we are bombarded with sights, smells, sounds, tastes, and feelings.  We go to restaurants. smell food, eat food, participate in conversation, listen to the music that is playing.  We walk along a street and smell car emissions, see signs and billboards, and hear people's conversations.  We get into our cars and listen to the radio.  Even now, I'm listening to music as I write this.  Our senses are bombarded nearly all the time.  Among all of this, it is very simple to wonder if God is gone.  It easy to wonder if He has left us high and dry in a moment of struggle.  Sometimes, in the hardest moment of struggle we get a glimpse of God, and they seem to amaze us.  We are left in awe, just as a baby is left giggling when an adult emerges from behind his hands.

 However, God is never gone.  He is behind the distractions.  We have to take the time to push away the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and feelings to see him.  We have to trust that He is with us.  We should be in awe of him all of the time, because He is an awesome God.  He wants us to be in awe of Him, but He also wants us to know that He is with us.  He is not an adult playing games with babies.  We are forgetful babies.  We forget where He is.  He is right here.  He is with you.  He is with me.  Take the time today to pray and read the Bible in quiet solitude.  Fast from a meal.  Kneel in awe of a God who chooses to love all people. 

The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake.
After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

 I Kings 19:11-13

God is speaking to you.  God loves you.  God has plans for you.  God is with you.  Are you listening?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoXT4vfZDks

Written in Reckless Abandonment para Jesucristo, Thanks for Reading!

The End? Or Just the Beginning?

The last Spring Break of my high school career is coming up.  This has a lot of meaning behind it.  It means that I'm nearly eighteen years old.  It means my high school career is coming to an end.  It means that soon I need to know where I am going to go after high school.  It means more responsibility and pressure than I've ever felt will fall on my shoulders soon. This Spring Break, although offering a break in the day-to-day chaos, means the end of many things.  I'm not going to college with any of my friends from high school, so it means the end of many of my high school friendships.  These are all relatively sad things.  But there is hope.

With my last Spring Break of my high school career coming up, it means that my high school career is coming to an end.  But it means that I'm getting closer to college.  It means I'm closer to bigger and better things.  Not only am I close to ends, I'm close to new beginnings.  I will have more responsibilities, but I will use these to learn to trust God more.  The ends of my current friendships mean the beginnings of new friendships.  It means the beginning of learning new things.

Sometimes change hurts.  Trusting God is scary.  Believing that He will take care of me through these new challenges is hard.  But, even though I'm turning eighteen soon, I will try to have the faith of a child.  Not blindly trusting, but attempting to follow Him with a humble spirit.

And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 18:3

Written in Reckless Abandonment para Jesucristo, Thanks for Reading!

When your Best isn't Good Enough

In the past week I've received a few letters and e-mails of rejection from scholarships.  I don't know how I'm going to pay for college.  However, I feel that God is calling me to becoming a pediatrician and do some form of ministry with my life.  If it is truly His Will, then I can trust that He will make it happen, right?  I can trust that somehow, someway, I will make it through college and medical school, because He will provide.  I'm not saying that I shouldn't try to do my best.  I'm not saying that I shouldn't care about my grades.  On the contrary, I am told in the Bible that I am to do all my work with all my heart, as if I was doing it for God and not for men (Colossians 3:23).

With each letter that I received, I experienced a brief moment of hope as I opened the letter and then lasting disappointment as I read and discovered the rejection.  By the end of the week I had come to a two part conclusion.  Part 1:  My best just isn't good enough.  Even though I have a 3.9 GPA and decent SAT and ACT scores, I'm being rejected.  Even though I have 4 years of community service, tallying to around 275 hours, I'm being turned down.  I've been involved in a variety of extracurricular activities for the 2 years that I've been in public school.  But my best isn't good enough.  I do not have 4 years of multiple extracurricular activities, because I was living in Mexico as a missionary with my family.  I'm bilingual and have been since I was 15 years old.  But my best just isn't good enough.

I sound relatively pitiful and pathetic right now.  But there is good news.  There is hope.  Here is the second part of my conclusion:  My best doesn't have to be good enough.  I serve a God who is all-mighty and has plans for me.  I do not know what those plans are, but I know they are for my good (Jeremiah 29:11).  Even in times when I haven't wanted to follow Him, (coming back to the U.S. from Mexico is a prime example) I've discovered that it betters me as a person and as a follower of Christ.  It hurts, but it is good for me.  He has shown me joy and love in ways that I never could have imagined.  He has given me new experiences.  He has been merciful when I've messed up, and I'm beginning to learn what it means to trust Him.  As I continue to receive rejection notices(as I'm sure I will), I will remember that God is with me, always (Deuteronomy 31:6).   I will remember that I don't have to be afraid of anything (Deuteronomy 31:6). I will remember that my hope is not in my abilities (albeit, I can't really call them mine, as they are God given), it is in God Himself.  I will remember that God will get me through this.  My best isn't good enough, but thanks to God's grace, mercy, love, and faithfulness it doesn't have to be. :)

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7 

 

  Written in Reckless Abandonment para Jesucristo, Thanks for Reading!

Junk

A few weeks ago my friends came over to my house for a sleep over.  When one of them walked in to my room, she made the comment, "It's so small."  I knew that her comment had not been made to offend, and quite honestly it didn't offend me.  However I looked around my room with a different perspective than normal.  Is it really that small, or Is it just too full of stuff? 

How much stuff do I have in my room that I don't use?  My family has a storage compartment full of things that we don't use (afterall, it's in storage for a reason).  Why are messy rooms such a problem?  We can't park our cars in our garage because it's full of equipment.

I was amazed at the multitude of results when I searched for messy rooms on Google.

 

It's almost as if we think that by filling our houses and our cars and our lives up with stuff, we'll be happy.  We'll be full.  Honestly, this can go beyond the material things.  It can be activities.  How often are we busy?  How frequently are we on the go?  It can also be through relationships.  Family is important, but it will never fulfill you completely. Boyfriends and girlfriends are in the same category.   What about your job, your eating habits, or even your church?  

 

There are certain things that you do need to live. You have to work to make a living.  You have to eat to live.  Going to church is important, and is a great source of spiritual nourishment, christian fellowship, and worship time.  However, when we aren't making time for God because of work, when we eat because we're depressed, and when we are just going  to church to say that we went, then we're still trying to fill ourselves up with the wrong thing.

How do you fill yourself up?  What is the right thing?  Or rather, is there a right thing?  I believe that there is.  I believe that when you depend on Christ, He will fill you up.  I'm not saying that it is wrong to be busy, work, go to church, or have a house full of stuff, but I do think that it is wrong to try fill yourself up on the world.  God eagerly pursues you, and wants to fulfill you.  All you have to do is let Him do so.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13 (NIV)

 

 Written in Reckless Abandonment para Jesucristo, Thanks for Reading!

Overwhelmed

Lately it occurred to me that I should start blogging again.  I don't know how often these will occur, but right now, I just need a break.

My senior year of high school has now started.  My summer was filled with work at a boy scout camp as a lifeguard. (Yes, I am a girl who worked at a boy scout camp.)  This was very enjoyable for me, but that isn't what I really want to tell you about right now.

Right now, I'm am feeling overwhelmed.  Last Tuesday I stayed up late doing homework.  Wednesday I woke up with a cold.  I'm not quite back up to 100% yet. 

As I came in the door after getting home from weights and conditioning today, I felt a surge of grief as my mom told me that my friend in Mexico had her visa application turned down by the U.S. embassy because she was too much of a "risk."  From their standpoint, I understand.  She doesn't have any communication with her biological family, and her adoptive family hasn't officially adopted her because her biological family won't let them!  From a technical standpoint, and on paper, she doesn't have anything that would keep her from overstaying her visa in the U.S.

From the standpoint of her friend she has a loving family and many friends in Mexico that she would go back to.  She would not deliberately try to do anything illegal, because that would defy God, and I know that she has made her purpose to honor God.

When I checked my e-mail, there was an e-mail from the same friend's mom.  Discussing prayer requests for their family, because they recently suffered the death of one of their little boys.  This is the same boy who is in my picture for this blog.  He died from complications to a necessary heart surgery.  Read more about that here.

Are you beginning to understand my feeling of being overwhelmed?  I feel like no matter what I do, it's going to suck(or have a vacuuming effect, if you prefer that terminology) , because I'm so overcome by grief for this little boy.  I miss everyone in Mexico, and sometimes it feels as if my heart will break because it hurts so bad.  I also see the purpose behind days such as these.  These are the days that I go through prayerfully.  These are the days that I come home, with eyes full of tears, and study my Bible while listening to praise music.  These are the days that I feel the Lord sustaining me.  These are the days that I have to remember the Lord. 

These are the days that I remember the Lord.  These are the days that enable to more fully enjoy and appreciate the good days.  These are the days that help me keep an eternal perspective, remembering that God is with me through it all, and, in the end, I'll see all of my friends who are followers of Christ again, for a much longer time than I could ever see them in this world.

Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.
Psalm 54:4

One Chance

This will be my last blog post during the season of lent.  Blogging three times a week has been fun, but I'm ready to cut it back a little bit.  Just to let any readers know, although I said I'm going to blog on Fridays starting next week, I realized that I will be unable to do so.  Therefore, I will take next week off from the blogging world.  My next blog will be posted on April 12th. I hope you all don't mind too much.

I have noticed that there is a new slang term on the internet, "YOLO."  I'm relatively bad about keeping up on the most recent slang, so I had to ask around to find out what it meant.  I found that it means, "You only live once."

Many people use this simple phrase as an excuse to party, and do really crazy things.  I, on the other hand, like to thing of it with another perspective.  I'm only given one life.  I've only got one chance to prove that I belong to God.  If I don't do it right the first time, then it's over.  It's done.

Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever.

Ecclesiastes 1:4

No one remembers the former generations, and even those yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow them.

Ecclesiastes

1:11

As much as I would like to dream that someday everyone is going to remember me when I die, I know that it is not true.  In fact, I don't want my family and friends to be stuck on what I did.  I want them to go about their lives, because they only have one chance to live.

You who are young, be happy while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment.

Ecclesiastes 11:9

What is the point of it all:

Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind.

Ecclesiastes 12:13 

Thanks to Kayla for this picture: