Monday, June 29, 2015

Thoughts when I'm Awake at Ridiculous Hours

It's 4:43am and I am wide awake.  I have been awake for the last hour.  Life is funny sometimes.  God gave me a job with regular hours: 8-5, Mon.-Fri.  It's great.  Unlike many jobs available to college students, I have my evenings and weekends to do as I please.  On this night, or early morning, I've chosen to volunteer at the homeless shelter.

I took the last volunteer shift so stay up and watch the security cameras, so I have the privilege of the early wake up calls.  Some wake up as early as 3:50 to set out toward their low-paying jobs for the long day.  Tonight has been relatively quiet.  No drunken or sick vomiting, or drug addicts going through withdrawal, which are all things that I've observed and helped with here.

It has been raining off and on for the past hour, so I'm praying that it will stop soon for the sake of the guests who may be spending all day outside after they leave the shelter at 7am.

God gave me a job with regular hours and I decided that I would volunteer through some nights.  It's exhausting sometimes, when I spend the entire night awake to help out rather than just taking my shift.  But it's worth it.  I gain stories, both my own and listening to others'.  During this listening, I've tried to gain what knowledge and wisdom I can, even though my brain is never at its sharpest at 2:30am.  The thing is, the more education I receive, the more I realize that what they say about learning is true, "The most important lessons aren't learned in a classroom."  I'm learning that this summer, in the middle of the night at a homeless shelter.

I'm learning that some of the best stories are spoken in a homeless shelter.  Between the war veterans and the conspiracy theorists, you start to hear some pretty good stories when you're listening.  You hear about some of the lessons they've learned in life.  You hear about when they had a family, and you hear about their rough days when it just won't stop raining and they have no where to go.

I'm learning that alcohol and other drug addictions are very real and very perpetual.  It is not that I did not believe my health teacher in high school.  It's just different when you see it up close on a day to day basis.  While some of these people really are trying to work their way up from these circumstances, it's difficult to remove yourself from the environment surrounded by the abused substances when you have nowhere to go.  Many of these people no longer have control of their lives, these substances do.

Not only are addictions a perpetual cycle, so is homelessness in general.  It is very easy to become homeless and very hard to escape.  It's very easy for people to become hopeless as they spiral around in the cycle of finding a job, starting to save money, and then being laid-off and going right back to where they started.  A lot of the success stories that I've seen from the homeless shelter are from people who have been in the system and working their way out of it for years.  They chose the long, slow upward process rather than the quick downward spiral.

I'm learning what it really means to have the joy of the Lord and to be content in all circumstances.  Nothing is more humbling than asking a homeless man how his day was and receiving the response, "Very blessed."  This old man who walks with a cane, who is coming here for free soap and shampoo and access to a shower.  This old man who doesn't even have a friend or family member to ask if he can sleep on their couch.  He tells me that he is, "Very blessed."  If he is very blessed, then what am I?  I've seen poverty before, it's nothing new, but those impoverished people at least had a friend to lend a hand.  What does this man possess that he can say that he is "Very blessed?"  He must have something intangible, something beyond human understanding.  This old man, who walks with a cane and doesn't have a bed to sleep in, has Jesus.

I'm learning a lot this summer, which is pretty awesome considering I am not enrolled in a single course nor am I formally studying anything on a regular basis.  My class this summer is living life, and the lessons I'm being taught are invaluable.

Living in Reckless Abandonment for Jesucristo,
Jo

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