Getting to Know Myself

At the very beginning of this summer I started attending a study on Ecclesiastes that my church does on Thursday night.  That very first night, when we just talked and got to know each other, one of the questions that each of us answered was, "What is one thing you would like to learn this summer?"  My reply to this question was that I wanted to learn more about myself this summer.  I wanted to take a lot of my time and do prayer and meditation.  As I am in college, pursuing a degree that will hopefully have a lifelong impact, this seems an ideal time to learn about myself.  But I have also spent much of my summer running around like a madwoman trying to do everything.  I volunteer at the homeless shelter and help lifeguard at a boy scout camp.  I work a full time job.  Just tonight I arrived home, made myself supper, learned how to make pie crust from a roommate, made No Bake Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars, and decided to blog.  I have not allowed myself a whole lot of time to sit and pray by myself.  I just keep exhausting myself with people.

However, I have given myself some time to read.  I just recently finished The Prodigal God, by Timothy Keller, which was recommended by a good friend of mine.  The whole book hit me pretty hard, but the last chapter made me realize something.  I realized that one of the best ways to get to know myself if to spend time with others, not to spend time by myself.  I definitely need to spend more time in prayer.  But when it comes to really discovering my passions and realizing what I excel at, I need to spend time serving and in fellowship with others.  This seems to come naturally to a lot of people, but I am an introvert and most of the activities I enjoy are solitary, helping me cherish the seclusion and silence of lonesomeness.  This means that in order to get to know myself, the best methodology is not to make goals to spend time in thought by myself.  I do that naturally.  The best way to get to know myself it to make goals to spend time with others and actually spend time with others.  The Prodigal God had the following quote from C.S. Lewis about this topic:

In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out.  By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets.  Now that Charles [Williams] is dead, I shall never again see Ronald's [Tolkien's] reaction to a specifically Charles joke.  Far from having more of Ronald, having him "to myself" now that Charles is away, I have less of Ronald...In this, Friendship exhibits a glorious "nearness by resemblance" to heaven itself where the very multitude of the blessed (which no man can number) increases the fruition which each of us has of God.  For every soul, seeing Him in her own way, doubtless communicates that unique vision to all the rest.  That, says an old author, is why the Seraphim in Isaiah's vision are crying Holy, Holy, Holy" to one another (Isaiah 6:3).  The more we thus share the Heavenly Bread between us, the more we shall have.

Whether I am with people who call me 'Jo' or 'Joanna,' I am the same person.  Whether I am with people in an informal situation or in a professional setting, I have the same character.  But each person teaches me a little bit about who I am.  Each person brings their own unique perspective that I can learn about.  I will continue to work on my prayer life and my time alone with God.  But I will also strive to spend time with others and learn from them.  I will be able to learn about myself and others.

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

1 John 1:7

Living in Reckless Abandonment for Jesucristo,

Jo