Living

How do I define worship?  Singing words?  Praying to God?  Writing poetry?

I love words.  I love language.  Language enables me to express myself and understand others in ways that wouldn't be possible otherwise.  I couldn't write this blog without language or know how to operate a computer if I didn't know how to read.  I couldn't complain to my friends about how much homework I have to get done without words and I couldn't teach someone how to do very much without words.

But in many ways, language falls short of what I really want to express.  Perhaps my own knowledge of language is not sufficient, and if I understood it better I would be able to express myself better.  The whole purpose of language is to allow us to express ourselves in ways that wouldn't be possible otherwise.

Why then, if I find language so insufficient to express myself, do all of the typical methods of worship use only words?  Today, I want to think about worship differently.  I don't want my 'worship time' to only be at church on Sunday when I am singing praise and worship music. I don't want to just sing music while I am driving back to campus after spring break.  I want to live my life as worship.  Words are great.  I can use them to tell God that He's so fanflippingtastically amazing that I don't have words to describe it.  I can use them to tell God that I'm mad and upset and feel like my world is falling down around me and I don't understand what is going on.  I can use them to worship.  But wouldn't it be even cooler if every action I did was done in worship for Him?

Every academic and work assignment, done for His Glory.  Every dish washed, floor swept, or daily chore complete, to further His Kingdom.  Every conversation had, spent in gratitude that He created this person.  Every moment spent relaxing, spent remembering how great God is and the only true peace and rest is found in Him. Every time we repent and ask God for forgiveness, a reminder of Christ's sacrifice for us.

But Samuel replied: "Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams."

1 Samuel 15:22

Samuel is reprimanding Saul for not obeying God in this verse, after Saul had disobeyed and used the excuse that the commands he had not followed would enable him to make more sacrifices to God.  Samuel reminds Saul, and myself, that even if I follow the typical traditions of today to worship God, worship is much more than that.

What I cannot say, I must live.

What I have I done today to worship God?

Living in Reckless Abandonment for Jesucristo,

Jo

Enough

This morning, I woke up at 6:40 in a room with about 8 other women in it.  I .  None of them were stirring yet, as the day's activities were scheduled to begin at 8:30am.  I rolled out of bed as quietly as possible to grab my notebook and Bible and head out into the room where we had had worship together the night before.

I was at my church's women retreat, which started Friday evening and went through this morning.  I had decided to wake up well before the scheduled activities so that I could take some time and just be.  Not necessarily praying or reading, but just being.  Breathing and thinking, letting God speak if He chose or just letting my thoughts meander as they pleased.

The sun was just beginning to light the sky as I sat down with 

my Bible to spend some time with God.

The theme of the retreat was, "Enough."  We were reminded this weekend that God made us, and that He loves us.  He knows that we're flawed and he loves us through the flaws.  

As I prayed about that early this morning and reflected on it later with a small group, I realized that God made me to be imperfect, not because he wanted me to be miserable about it and beat myself up over it, but so that his strength can be seen in my weakness.  I am enough, not because I'm perfect, but because God can use my weakness for His glory.

God fulfills.  God heals.  God restores.  God pursues.  God is the only thing that will ever complete you.  

With that on my heart, I stepped outside to the frigid air.  It was not snowing,but there was a light dusting of snow in an occasional patch.  My face was almost instantly numb from the crisp air. 

 There were actually a couple of girls who I saw outside, so we trekked through the woods together, trying to decide if we were actually on a path.  We finally decided that it didn't really matter and meandered down the steep hill together.

Even in the cold, God showed us the beauty of His creation, as the sun cast some gorgeous rays on the tips of the intertwining branches as it emerged over the horizon.

 We arrived back inside and I snapped this picture of some of the paintings that were completed last night.  It was amazing to see the creativity in these women's minds and what God had placed on their hearts to paint, and how they expressed themselves.

Finally, I returned to the A-frame to watch the sun come through the trees.  Someone else sat in the loft, doing the same thing, and it was beautiful to be reminded that with the start of a new day, God told us that we were enough.  We didn't have to fulfill the expectations of parents, friends, teachers, boyfriends, or anybody else.  Not only would this be an impossible task, it would never be fulfilling to us.  God loves us, just the way we are, and He more than fulfills all of the expectations that anyone could ever have.

You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Psalm 16:11

Living in Reckless Abandonment for Jesucristo,

Jo

Freedom...

If you know me very well at all, you know that I am easily distracted.  Especially when I have an internet connection.  I don't watch T.V. shows on a regular basis, but I love watching educational YouTube videos.  Unfortunately, as fun as they are to watch, I don't always watch the most useful or applicable videos for what I am currently studying. (for example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADD7QlQoFFI)

Because I know that I am easily distracted, I have a program on my computer that blocks me from going to certain websites.  I can set it for a period of time for a list of specific sites.  When I have it turned on and attempt to go to one of these sites, I get the following screen:

The main message doesn't tell me that I'm blocked from the site.  It tells me I'm free from the site.

It doesn't always feel like freedom when I really want to visit the site and I can't access it.  But the thing is, I could choose to type in my password and access the site.  And I also have the freedom to choose not to do so.

For many people, they see religion as a jail, or a list of rules that you have to follow.  But it really isn't about that.  Religion is about being free from sin in Christ.

For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.  What then?  Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace?  By no means!  Don't you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey-whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?

Romans 6:14-16

I always have the choice of returning to the old master, sin.  But I know that it leads to death.  In Christ, I have the opportunity to follow a new master, obedience.  I get to choose to obey, not because of a list of rules hanging over my head, but because I want to follow God.  

True freedom isn't a freedom to be thoughtless and completely careless, but a freedom of choice.  I get to choose which master to serve.  Who will I serve today?

Living in Reckless Abandonment for Jesucristo,

Jo

Learning Over Winter Break

1.)  My body naturally sleeps for nine hours a night.

My parents may tell you that I sleep for nine hours a day, but you get the point.  This winter break has allowed my body to catch up on some much needed physical rest.  While sleep is never something that I have in abundance during the semester, I can hope that I will be able to make it a higher priority and get more than the fiver or six hours/night I got last semester.

2.)  I don't like to deal with my emotions.

I know that it's important to not just stuff them down.  However, there were a few times over this break where I just needed to cry and go pray.  Mental and emotional stuff that I thought I had 'worked through,' came up and I realized I wasn't as 'over it' as I had originally thought.

I have to keep giving these struggles to God, because many of them are previous hurts that I haven't truly or entirely given to Him.


3.)  Resting is good for the soul.

As mentioned before, over this break I was able to take the time to find out how much sleep my body gets when I don't interrupt it with alarms.  With the right amount of sleep I have found that my brain works much better in terms of creativity and the time I spend with God is much more meaningful and worthwhile.  (I'm not saying that I was wasting the time I spent with God when I wasn't well rested.  I'm saying that I should have been more well rested in general.  God calls us to work, but He also calls us to rest).

4.) A little bit of Russian.

We'll see if it stays in my brain and if I can continue working on the language as I keep up with college classes and my part time job.

5.)  Making arts and crafts is great way to spend my day.

I've made clay things, painted a 3'x3' canvas, created a paper tree with an x-acto knife.  All of them have been a joy to make and been wonderful to pass along to people to decorate or use in their lives.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  

Matthew 11:28-30

Lessons from a 77 Year Young Man

"Thank you, Lord, for this miserable day, because it is still one that you have made."  My grandfather said this in a prayer before a meal one day this week.  My parents and I were at his house to eat our dinner, as the icy rain in the morning had caused the power to go out for about seven and a half hours.  (My parents' house has electric heat and our stove is also electric, so we were there for supper.)

As a 77 year old veteran of the Korean War, who has been farming his entire life, my grandfather has seen his fair share of miserable days.  He has had 3 joints replaced and his hands are full of gout and arthritis but yet he still farms. He has raised 3 children and held many grandchildren.  He has shot a squirrel in my grandma's kitchen and lead many 4-H calves through the pasture with his kids and some of his grand kids.  He isn't a perfect man (he sometimes forgets to give my Grandmas Christmas or anniversary gifts), but he sure does know that he needs to be grateful for what he has.

Some people would hear what my grandfather said about God making a miserable day and say that he wasn't being grateful.  However, I think the fact that my grandfather was able and willing to state that the day had had miserable weather and still thank God for it is amazing.  You see, pretending like it had been good when it wasn't would be a lie.  Instead he acknowledged that the day had been gross, but was still thankful for the day of life that God had given him, despite the circumstances.

It's easy to be thankful for a warm house when the electricity comes back on after being off for most of the day.  It's easy to be thankful for sunshine and rain with rainbows.  It's simple to be thankful for your food.  But am I thankful for life itself?  God created me for a purpose on this Earth.  He loves me and gives me a lifetime of grace.  Am I thankful for that?

Each and every day is a gift.

This is the day the Lord has made.

We will be glad and rejoice in it.

Psalm 118:24 (NLT)

What is this Season?

People who know me very well know that I do not enjoy Christmas.  This is for a variety of reasons.  The Christmas music can be a bit repetitive and annoying.  It is a holiday that is becoming increasingly consumeristic.  I don't enjoy the cold that comes with snow that many other people are so fond of.  Christmas socials and Christmas parties are exhausting for me.  And why have ugly Christmas sweaters become such a popular thing in recent years?  Isn't it counter-intuitive to go shopping to find the 'best' ugly sweater possible?  But I digress.

I have recently been using the Bible reading plans on my Bible app on my phone.  They are typically pretty short, but are a good way to begin my quiet time.  I recently finished one, and many of the suggested plans that popped up had to do with advent.  At first I was leery.  It's not that I don't like reading about the Biblical story behind Christmas.  I mean, the whole reason I don't like Christmas is because of how skewed the world has made it.  It's just hard, because frequently even church events can be overwhelming for me in this season.  I tend to go to Christmas events because it's the 'right thing to do,' instead of going to center myself.  In the end, it's just tiring and instead of learning or centering myself, I find myself exhausted.  (Life of the introvert.)  

  I finally decided that an advent devotional would be a good idea, and help me focus on what I really need to be focused on rather than being focused on how annoyed I get at the consumerism that surrounds me.  Through this I was reminded that the season of advent is not about awaiting Christmas.  It's hopefully waiting for Christ's birth.  But beyond that, I was reminded that advent is not just the season in our liturgical calendar that happens in the 4 Sundays before Christmas.  Advent is the season we are in at all times as we await Jesus' second coming.  

Advent is about remembering the hope we have in God.  Advent is about remembering God's perfect timing, both in sending his son for the first time and the second time.  Advent is about waiting, for God's perfect timing.  

For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter, though a person may be weighed down by misery.  Ecclesiastes 8:6

And here is just a fun video in case you need a 'new' Christmas song.

Living in Reckless Abandonment for Jesucristo,

Jo

One Night United

Purdue's Campus has an annual event called 'Unite.'  During that one night a year, all of the Christian groups, clubs, organizations, and churches in our area come together to worship.  In that one night it doesn't matter if you are Protestant or Catholic.  It doesn't matter if you're Baptist or Presbyterian.  In that one night, we all come together and worship God.  We pray together, that God would give us revival in our own lives so that we can spread revival with the rest of Purdue's campus, and to the rest of the World.

That night happened a few weeks ago.  While we were worshiping and singing praise songs, I stopped singing for a second and closed my eyes.  I let my ears be filled with the sound of hundreds of voices singing praise to our God.  I stood silently and opened my eyes and let myself bask in the presence of fellow-believers who had chosen to praise God on a Saturday night.  I let God's spirit engulf me and wrap itself around me and remind me that I am never alone.

While I stood there silently and the rest of the people sang, Psalm 133 came into my mind.

How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity!

It is like precious oil poured on the head,

running down on the beard,

running down on Aaron's beard,

down on the collar of his robe.

It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion.

For there the Lord bestows his blessing,

even life forevermore.

Psalm 133

I stood and sang, adding my voice to the hundreds of others, picturing us working together as one body to serve God.  I thought of literal muscles that contract and stretch to give us movement.  The sarcomere that has myosin and actin that use Adenosine Triphosphate (ATP) to allow our muscles to contract or relax.  How our digestive system is used to acquire the nutrients to make ATP, which the rest of our body uses at a form of energy.  It's all extremely intricate.  

Every single little bit of our bodies has a purpose.  Without every single part working properly, the rest doesn't work either.  The same is true of the body of Christ.  We are all Children of God.  When we let the devil convince us that our particular denomination or local church is more important than God himself and the church as a whole, we're doing it wrong.  

For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.  Romans 12:4-5

I pray that Unite continues to happen in the following years.  But I also pray, that it makes an impact that is bigger than one night.  I pray that as a community of believers, we can come together outside of Unite and start the revival that was prayed for at the event.

Living in Reckless Abandonment for Jesucristo,

Jo