Lessons Learned

As Holy Week came and went, my schedule picked up to an insane velocity.  Finally, after the craziness of huge exams, a band concert, and a final presentation, I can take a moment to type up a few of my thoughts.  A lot has happened over the past few weeks and I have a few stories to tell, but they will wait.  I had a realization after the Maundy Thursday service during Holy Week and I still haven't written about it.

As previously stated, my scheduled picked up at the end of April, especially through Holy Week.  I managed to make it to most of the normal church services that happen in that week, but while sitting in the service on Thursday I was not really in the right place.  Yes, physically I was sitting in the chair in the sanctuary of the church.  Yes, I was listening to most of what the pastor was saying.  But mentally I was thinking about everything I had to do.  I was going through the list of homework to be done, subjects I needed to study, and tasks that needed to be completed.  Afterwards I did not take the time to chat with anyone.  I pulled the car keys from my purse and headed out at a brisk pace to avoid everybody.

Simply stated, I was just "Going through the motions."  I was going to the church service because I knew that was what I was supposed to do.  In my mind, there were more important things to be done.  This is not okay.  It was then that I realized that I shouldn't just go to church to be there, I should go to church to worship God and have fellowship with Him and other believers.  In making going to church services my top priority, I had made it my idol.  I had made going to the service more of a priority than praising and living in pursuit of God.

Even what I was thinking about during the service had become my idols.  I want to do the best that I can do as if doing it for God, and not for men (Colossians 3:23).  However, when I just want good grades because they are my goal, that is a problem.  I should want them because I'm working hard to honor God, not to have a good transcript with my name on it.

I let this lesson take far too long to sink into my heart.  I now see that it was hardened and weedy in this area.  I pray that this will be a lesson that I remember for a lifetime, and don't let myself forget.  I pray that God will give me the ability to learn new lessons and discover new hope as I continue in this life so that I may become closer to him.