Hope

It is Ash Wednesday and I’m sitting on the floor in Walmart.  To be precise, I’m sitting on the floor in the fabric aisle in Walmart.  People are looking at me funny.  I’m waiting for a prescription to be filled but because it needs to be transferred from CVS.   I would love to say that this is the weirdest thing I have ever done in Walmart, but it probably isn’t.  Too many nights off from work at camp were spent in the toy aisle at Walmart for that to be true of me.  I’ve looked at storage containers and at some sowing patterns and now I’m just enjoying being surrounded by the artificially bright colors of the fabric.  Sitting here reminds me of going to Joann Fabrics with my grandma, and therefore makes me nostalgic.  This is the first year that I am not planning to do a sewing project with my Grandma.  Sitting in the brightly colored fabric aisle also makes me think of the contrasting dull colors that surround me when I have gone outside for the past couple of months. 

I don’t really like winter.  No matter how many layers I put on, the wind and cold always finds its way to my skin, seeping into my body and pulling the heat from me.  It is exhausting and miserable for me.  It is true that the first couple days of the first snowfall remind me of my salvation.  They remind me of Jesus’ blood washing me as clean as snow. (Isaiah 1:18) Yes, there is something magical about the first snow and the blinding whiteness that envelops everything.  But soon, the snow becomes dirty and slushy.  The dead plants and gray streets with everything else that surrounds me are full of bleak colors.  Their blandness becomes depressing and makes it cumbersome to go outside. 

But you know what the greatest part about winter is?  It ends.  Every single year, around late March, it starts to get warm again.  It gets warm and the sun comes out.  The sun allows the plants to begin their growth again, and with their growth, we experience colors.  Flowers blossom, grass turns green, leaves come out on the trees, and before you realize what is happening, it is spring.

Jesus promised us that He is coming back after washing our sins away and allowing us to become whiter than snow.  He didn’t tell us when, but He is coming back.  And I look forward to the Son and the spring.

Also, in retrospect, there are benches at the pharmacy area in Walmart. :P

Living in Reckless Abandonment for Jesucristo,

Jo

Adventures at Nap Time

I had every intention of blogging about feeling love through granola bars, a jar of peanut butter, and fruit snacks but instead decided to blog about a slightly more recent occurrence in my life.  Sunday afternoon I wanted to take a nap.  Because I was tired (I slept through my first alarm that morning, that's how tired I was).  Knowing that I would sleep for the entire day if I didn't set an alarm, I set an alarm on my phone for 45 minutes after I was going to lay down, knowing that I would probably hit snooze a couple of times and didn't want to waste too much of my day laying (not lying...I looked it up!  You're welcome, Mom!) in bed.  I left my phone on my desk when I laid down.  Now, for those of you who don't know, my desk is under my lofted bed.  I actually intentionally leave my phone on my desk when I get in bed because getting up out of bed to hit snooze helps me wake up.

I laid down in bed and experienced a very relaxing and seemingly short 45 minutes.  After the luxurious time, my alarm blared at me and told me that I needed to get out of bed to finish my reading assignments, math homework, watch video lectures, and blog.  I proceeded to get out of bed, grab my phone, hit snooze, and carry it to bed with me where I put it on a shelf next to my books so that it would be closer to hit snooze the second time (and third time, if I'm being honest).  (Waking up isn't exactly easy for me...).  The second time my alarm went off, I simply grabbed my phone, hit snooze the last time, and put it back on the shelf.  I will stop here to mention that I was legitimately planning to get up the next time my alarm went off, even if the following event hadn't occurred, as that would be 15 minutes from the original time period I had set for myself and would be close to an hour nap.

The third time my alarm went off, I started to sit up only to hear a loud clatter as my phone had vibrated off of my shelf and onto the floor.  Now, as mentioned above, the shelf is the same height as my bed, and my bed is lofted.  Much to my surprise, my alarm continued to go off after my phone had fallen onto the tile floor and the back had popped off.  As such, I had the task of getting out of bed and getting my arm between the bed/wall/refrigerator to retrieve my phone.  At this point, my roommate was already trying to get my phone.  She was probably annoyed at the incessant alarm. (oops!)

Now, as I'm being honest, I will admit that this is not the first time this has happened to me/my phone.  As such, I intervened to grab my phone, rather than my roommate struggling to reach it, because I thought I knew the angle that I needed to have to grab it.  I quickly looked at where the phone was, leaned forward and reached down....and THUNK!!  In my still half-asleep stupor, I had focused too much on the local setting of the phone and forgotten about the bed frame that is a little bit lower than my height.  I hit my head hard enough to lose some skin, but it was also hard enough to wake me up much more wholly than I had been.  (Yay!)

I now have a tender bump on my head.  I hope that this story will award you a good laugh, as you imagine me fumbling around half asleep. (I know I laughed at myself!)

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Proverbs 17:22

Lessons from a Drinking Fountain

I am currently a college student who resides in college dorms.  There are definitely several pros and cons to living in such close quarters to so many other people.  Sometimes the bathroom is gross.  Sometimes I just want to get away from people and it feels impossible.  Sometimes my room feels ridiculously warm or ridiculously cold.  Sometimes I don't want to leave my room to get a cup of water.  But I can meet people just by going to the bathroom.  (Last semester I helped someone with math at least once a week and it all started because we were in the bathroom at the same time.)  I can take part in floor activities like going bowling, ice skating, or having root beer floats while watching "The Puppy Bowl."  I can run down the hall to ask other people when I'm not sure how to do homework.  I can take out my trash without stepping foot outside.  I can hear piano music live in the lobby (One time there was even a violinist in the lobby with the piano).  I can walk to the lobby to print things quickly and efficiently rather than going to the library.  I can go downstairs to use a meal swipe for food.

All of this being said, there is one thing that has really bothered me about living in a dorm.  The drinking fountain.  For several weeks, the drinking fountain on my floor has not been functioning properly.  It is very hard to fill a cup of water with the drinking fountain because it doesn't have the water pressure that it needs.  This was a daily activity that was excessively annoying to perform.  Every week there was someone who came in and tried to fix it.  And every week, the frustration remained.  The floor as a whole was getting more and more annoyed, including myself.

Now, our drinking fountain is out of order and has a sign telling us not to use it.  I now have to go out to the lobby or up or down a floor in order to fill my cup with water.  This is relatively annoying.  Now that my floor's water fountain doesn't work at all, I wish I could have it back, even if it would be in the broken, can't-get-my-cup-all-the-way-full state.  However, I still have drinking water.  That is more than a lot of people in the world have.

I need to remain grateful for the little things in life.  This will help me remain joyful.  I should be thankful at all times, not just at holidays and when stuff is going 100% right.  In fact, remaining grateful even when things are going wrong is a better witness to the world.  God doesn't ask us to shine only when everything is good but also when things are going wrong.  Even if it is something as small as a water fountain that doesn't work properly or at all.

This is something that is very easy to forget when you live in a college dorm, or anywhere in the first world.  I'm receiving a college education that only a small fraction of the world's population will ever be able to have a chance to have.  I can go downstairs and enjoy more food than I could possibly eat.  I can walk into my room and flip on a light switch and work until late at night.  If I have a question, I have full access to the world wide web almost anywhere I go and search for the answer.  But yet, when my drinking fountain is a little bit slow, I get upset.  I want water in my cup.  I want it now.  This drinking fountains seems like the worst thing ever, even though it still gave me cool, clean, refreshing water.  It's amazing to me how fast I begin to complain and forget about every other blessing that surrounds me.

Today, I'm going to drink a cup of water from a drinking fountain, and I will choose to be thankful.  I'm going to eat food made at a dining court that might not taste like my mom's home cooking, and I'm going to be thankful.  I'm going to go to my lectures (even the really bad ones), and I'm going to be thankful for the opportunity to learn.  Today, I choose to thank the Lord for the gifts that He has chosen to give me.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 

Living in Reckless Abandonment for Jesucristo,

Jo

A Letter to Generation Y

Generation Y is sometimes defined as anyone born from 1983-2000 (other definitions include anyone born from 1980-1995).  They are known alternatively as "Millenials."  In this past week, I've done some reading on this topic to find out about what this generation is known for.  I've learned that they're known their laziness.  They're known for not knowing what real work is.  The world has decided that everything has been handed to them, and so that is what they will expect rather than gratefully accept.  They are the first generation to grow up with computers and cell phones readily available to them.

 People have already decided what Generation Y is going to do.  They've decided that we are lazy and don't want to put effort into anything.  They've decided that none of us have ever worked hard for anything.  They've decided that we are the WORST generation.  And the fact of the matter is, the world might be right.  So far, we haven't done a whole lot to prove them wrong.

But the thing is, I'm in Generation Y.  I know that there are some of us who fit into these stereotypes.  I know that some of us are lazy.  Some of us don't know the meaning of hard work.  But I refuse to accept that we cannot overcome these faults.  I also refuse to believe that every single one of us can just fit into these nice, neat little categories.  Not everyone in my generation is the same.  I have met some extremely hardworking, grateful, and intelligent people that are my age.  I also believe that the hardworking people my age can become great leaders if THEY decide to continue working hard in the right areas of their lives.  It has to be there decision not the world's decision.

In high school, one of my classes had a brief segment when we discussed what our generation was known for.  In high school, almost everyone said that we were known for being lazy and thoughtless.  We decided that we were already known as screw-ups and failures.  This week, as I was thinking about this blog, I asked a couple of my peers about how they would describe our generation.  This time, the response that I got was quite different.  I was told that we're the "tech-savvy" generation.  One person said that we were "crazy" and "stressed."  I don't know if that would remain constant if I asked more people, and so I'm not about to claim that people who go to college are significantly different than people who are in high school.  Just asking a couple of people in my classes is not enough to formulate a well-founded conclusion.  However, I would like to point out that maybe this has to do with expectations.

We, as humans, have the tendency to live up to other people's expectations.  At college, we are expected to become more intelligent, more hard-working, more technologically savvy, and more well-rounded individuals.  In high school, most of the teachers seemed pleased if they got the kids to turn in a fill in the blank worksheet.

Because of all of this, I would like to make a statement directed at my generation:

Let's surpass the expectations.  Let's show the world that we can be the most innovative, most intellectual, most accepting generation that they have seen so far.  Let's break the trend of only living up to the expectation and make the world completely redevelop its expectations for us.

Now there are  two more questions to answer.

The first is "How?"  How do we go about becoming a generation that the world remembers in a positive way?  I think that answer is quite simple.  Work hard.  Have fun.  Some people thing that these are contradictory statements.  However, I believe that if you are truly passionate about something, than you can work your butt off without it really feeling like work.  When you become passionate about your work, it's no longer work.  It becomes an endeavor, or a journey towards something greater, an opportunity to have fun.  I have learned this through the few jobs that I've had.  When I work with kids and get to interact with them, suddenly my work has a purpose and passion behind it.  This is compared to working in food service where I do not feel the same passion.  That being said, I have coworkers in food service who are clearly passionate about their jobs and live to serve other people in that way.  In this way, they can have fun while they work, because they're enjoying what they're doing.

And the second question is "Why?"  Why do we care about the world's expectations and what the world thinks about us?  Well, we don't.  Or at least, we shouldn't.  While we should enjoy our work, this shouldn't be our motivation either.  To find this answer we need to be sure we are asking the right question.  Colossians 3 states the "why" much better than I can.  Basically, our motivation, our passion, our love, and our lives come from the Lord.  Live for Him.  Let's be passionate about serving God in everything we do.  The world might think we've gone crazy when we're excited enough to go about every day like it's a gift.  The thing is, every day isn't LIKE a gift.  Everyday IS a gift.  As I learn to live my life in appreciation for every day, I hope that I am becoming a better light for Christ, so that the world may see Him.  This is both the question and the answer to the "why?"  Why do we not care about what the world thinks? Why do we want to serve God?  Why are we passionate?  We don't have to care about what the world thinks because we are free to serve God.  We serve God because He has given us our true, eternal inheritance through the holy and perfect sacrifice of his son on the cross (Spoiler alert: He rose 3 days later).  We are passionate because we're serving God, and I cannot think of a better use of time than to serve the maker of the Universe.

Living in Reckless Abandonment for Jesucristo,

Jo

Physics

It was recently brought to my attention that in a blog from June 2014, that I said I would tell the story about liking friends more than physics.  You can read that blog here.  And so, today I will share that story.

When I moved back to the U.S. from Mexico I was a semester ahead because of not having summer breaks when I was home schooled .  My parents had inquired about going to the local pubic school for half days so that I could do volunteer work with the other half of my days but were told that that was not an option.  I would have to do whole days and take sophomore level Math and English which I had already completed.  Since they knew that making me sit in classes that I had already completed and spin my wheels would be silly, and that they couldn't let me be truant for an entire semester, they decided that I could just take a couple of classes via homeschooling since I had been home schooled in Mexico.  I decided to complete a semester of Economics and a year of Physics during that semester as well as volunteer twice a week at our local food pantry.

During that semester I also began attending one of  the local church's youth group on Wednesday evenings.  This church youth group met twice a week.  On Sunday they would meet for a stereotypical church youth group meeting.  However, on Wednesday evenings it was just time to hang out together for a couple of hours.  We would also watch movies or play sardines together during this time.  As I attended these youth groups and dealt with counter culture shock, and completed my year of physics, I had a realization:  I would rather do physics than hang out with my friends.

At the time, I did not tell people that fact about myself.  I knew that some people would be offended by this, and although I knew I liked to work on Physics more than I like to talk to those people, the brief interactions that I had with them were still valuable to me.

However, as time passed and I became more acclimated to spending time with people, I began to enjoy it more and more.  My senior year, as I became more comfortable spending time with people, I eventually shared with my best friend and my high school guidance counselor that I liked doing physics problems more than I liked spending time with people most of the time.  They both laughed at me knowing that I will always be an introvert and a nerd.

Now that I have explained all of this I would also like to say that I know spending time and interacting with people is important.  I have also begun to learn that some people are better than physics.  And I have also noticed that I become a better and more well-rounded person when I spend more time with other people.

The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him." 

Genesis 2: 18

Living in Reckless Abandonment for Jesucristo,

Jo

When there is Syrup EVERYWHERE (Well, maybe not everywhere, but in more places than you want to admit)

There is syrup on my new lab manual.  And and on my bookmark.  And on my Bible.  And on my desk.  And on my student ID.  And on my hands.  There is even syrup on my pancakes.   How did this happen??  Well, let's rewind.

On the Sunday before the Spring semester, my mom and grandma drove me back to Purdue.  We decided to eat at Denny's, as I had never been there before.  Upon arrival I ordered an omelet.  They asked if I wanted pancakes or toast with my omelet and I replied that I wanted pancakes.  However, when our food arrived I had an omelet, toast, and pancakes.  Because of this, I did not eat the pancakes at the restaurant.  However, I do not like to waste food, so I asked for a box to take my food with me.  When I slid my pancakes into the Styrofoam container, I realized that I did not have syrup in my dorm room.  And although I would enjoy pancakes without syrup, I knew I would relish the delectable golden cakes WITH syrup.  Because of this, I decided that the best course of action would be to go ahead and put the syrup on my pancakes.

After all of this, we headed towards Purdue.  We decided to stop at the bookstore so that I could pick up my books rather than walk back across campus in the freezing rain as soon as they dropped me off at the dorm.  This meant that I now had my book bag, a cardboard box of winter clothing, my laundry tote, my leftover food, my box with new books, my bible (as we were coming from church), and a book for funsies (because I don't go anywhere without something to entertain me), and a bag with some homemade deliciousness my mom had made me.  I knew that I could not carry all of this in one trip, so I decided to reduce the number of packages that needed to be carried by placing my Bible, my book for funsies (that I was borrowing), and my box of pancakes in my box with books from the bookstore since the boxes they use at the bookstore are all the same size and I only had a lab manual and an access code.

Upon arrival at my dorm, I slid my bookstore box under my arm, grabbed an armful of other stuff and headed into the doors.  My mom carried in the other armload and then she wished me well and headed off.

After she left, I began to unpack.  I shuffled the box with books in it around as I had more clothes to put away than anything else.  However, I was using my desk as a table to set stuff down on and noticed a sticky residue.  I wondered where it was coming from, but didn't worry about it too much.  I slid my box of books along the ground and felt a higher amount of friction than anticipated, but again, didn't worry about it too much.  Finally, I picked up my box and felt stickyness on the bottom.  There was so much syrup that had spilled out of the box of pancakes that it had soaked through the cardboard that is thick enough to support an entire semester's worth of text books.  I opened the box, afraid of what I would see.  My lab manual had syrup along the bottom edge of every page.  My Bible had syrup on it.  This was not an ideal situation.

I proceeded to go to the bathroom and get a wet paper towel to clean up my mess.  I wiped the syrup off the floor where the box had been, threw away the box, and began wiping syrup off of each and every page in my lab manual and Bible.  Finally, after I thought I had my entire mess cleaned up, I finished unpacking and organizing.  When I had finished all of this, I sat down at my desk to check my email on my computer.  I saw that had my ID in a weird place and so I picked it up to move it.  And guess what??  THERE WAS SYRUP COVERING THE BOTTOM OF MY ID.  I proceeded back to the bathroom to rinse off my ID and grab one more wet paper towel to wipe off my desk for the second time.

I have now been back for one week, and last night I found syrup on the bookmark in the book that I am borrowing to read for funsies.  On the day of the incident I had very carefully checked the book's pages for any sign of syrup and been very glad when I discovered that it had not been in the path of the syrup, since I am borrowing it.  How I missed the syrup on the end of the bookmark that was sticking out the book is beyond me.  :P  I think though, that I'm finally done with cleaning up syrup.  (I ate my pancakes at the beginning of the week).

Through this experience I've realized a couple of things:

1.) If you're going to have food near books, use extreme caution unless you want to be cleaning up this food for longer than it takes to consume the food.

2.)  Syrup is a little bit like sin.  While Jesus' sacrifice on the cross enables us to have full and complete forgiveness for our sins, and be washed of them, we need to allow Him to convict of us of our sins so that we can repent from them.  Plus, when syrup gets places it's not suppose to be, it's gross and messy.  In the same way, our sin is gross and messy.

If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.  But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.  If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 1:6-9

3.)  Cleaning up a syrup mess is a process, and so is forgiveness. We as humans are still growing and learning to follow God.  Because of this, we must learn to forgive each other and ourselves just like I had to clean up a bookmark a week after the incident of the spilled syrup.  We will damage ourselves and be damaged by other people.  We will damage other people.  Life is messy (like spilled syrup) and learning how to forgive other people and ourselves is an important aspect of our lives.  Without forgiveness, it would be impossible to maintain a relationship with anyone.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

Matthew 18: 20-21

Living in Reckless Abandonment for Jesucristo,

Jo

When God's Plan feels Unplanned

Over winter break, I tried to fill out scholarship applications.  However, many applications that I filled out I were the same ones that I had filled out last year and had not received.  I've had multiple conversations with people about the best way to finance my education.  Over this break, I also finished paperwork for a loan.  I was raised with the knowledge that I would have to pay for my own education through loans, scholarships, and work.  People would ask me if I was a 21st Century Scholar.  The answer was no.  The one year that my family made too much money for me to be a 21st Scholar was also the year when I could have become a 21st Century Scholar.  And so, during my senior year of high school, I drew the conclusion that God has another plan for me to make it through my education.  When I applied for multiple scholarships, I hoped and prayed that I would get a big, full-ride scholarship.  And that didn't happen.  I got quite a few small scholarships which enabled me to pay for my first semester without pulling out loans.

Now, I'm going into my second semester and have taken out my first loan.  It is a small loan.  But you know what?  God still has a plan for how I'm going to get through school.  I don't know how it will come to pass.  But I know that if it's God's Will, then it will happen.

I have since realized that continuing my education is not only a intellectual learning experience but also a spiritual learning experience.  Because I do not know what God's plan is, I am learning to trust him more and more with each semester.  It goes against everything in my body to not have a plan.  I have always been someone who plans things out.  I like to have a plan A and a plan B and a plan C and a plan D.....you get the idea.  But now, God is teaching me that He wants me to let Him make plans.  God is revealing to me his plan.  He is doing it one puzzle piece at a time.  He is showing me that when I have faith in Him, and stop trying to solve my problems, He already had the plan and the solutions.  And so, someday, when I'm old and feeble, I'll look back and see what God's plan was for my life.  And I know that it will be better than anything I can imagine today.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:20

Living in Reckless Abandonment for Jesucristo,

Jo