When your Best isn't Good Enough

In the past week I've received a few letters and e-mails of rejection from scholarships.  I don't know how I'm going to pay for college.  However, I feel that God is calling me to becoming a pediatrician and do some form of ministry with my life.  If it is truly His Will, then I can trust that He will make it happen, right?  I can trust that somehow, someway, I will make it through college and medical school, because He will provide.  I'm not saying that I shouldn't try to do my best.  I'm not saying that I shouldn't care about my grades.  On the contrary, I am told in the Bible that I am to do all my work with all my heart, as if I was doing it for God and not for men (Colossians 3:23).

With each letter that I received, I experienced a brief moment of hope as I opened the letter and then lasting disappointment as I read and discovered the rejection.  By the end of the week I had come to a two part conclusion.  Part 1:  My best just isn't good enough.  Even though I have a 3.9 GPA and decent SAT and ACT scores, I'm being rejected.  Even though I have 4 years of community service, tallying to around 275 hours, I'm being turned down.  I've been involved in a variety of extracurricular activities for the 2 years that I've been in public school.  But my best isn't good enough.  I do not have 4 years of multiple extracurricular activities, because I was living in Mexico as a missionary with my family.  I'm bilingual and have been since I was 15 years old.  But my best just isn't good enough.

I sound relatively pitiful and pathetic right now.  But there is good news.  There is hope.  Here is the second part of my conclusion:  My best doesn't have to be good enough.  I serve a God who is all-mighty and has plans for me.  I do not know what those plans are, but I know they are for my good (Jeremiah 29:11).  Even in times when I haven't wanted to follow Him, (coming back to the U.S. from Mexico is a prime example) I've discovered that it betters me as a person and as a follower of Christ.  It hurts, but it is good for me.  He has shown me joy and love in ways that I never could have imagined.  He has given me new experiences.  He has been merciful when I've messed up, and I'm beginning to learn what it means to trust Him.  As I continue to receive rejection notices(as I'm sure I will), I will remember that God is with me, always (Deuteronomy 31:6).   I will remember that I don't have to be afraid of anything (Deuteronomy 31:6). I will remember that my hope is not in my abilities (albeit, I can't really call them mine, as they are God given), it is in God Himself.  I will remember that God will get me through this.  My best isn't good enough, but thanks to God's grace, mercy, love, and faithfulness it doesn't have to be. :)

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7 

 

  Written in Reckless Abandonment para Jesucristo, Thanks for Reading!